Newsletter 3 November 2007
Dear friends,Stumbling around, touching nothing, seeing nothing, a bit frightened… Don’t we all feel this way at times. On a good day I felt like trying to make my own cotton painting frame. I went to the home depot to see what lengths of wood they had and asked my son to make it into canvas frames. He could make two. I stapled thick cotton on the frames and I decided that when I would paint them it would be a double painting, belonging together. I put gesso on them, let them stand for weeks doing nothing with them. Then tried one, I wanted to experiment. Put the most terrible colours on them, used paletknife as if I was swordfighting and the result was horrible. I felt so inadequate.
Weeks and weeks later I took the other frame. God spoke a long time ago about “Focus on the Lord, focus on Me” and these words started echoing every few weeks for about a year (I must have been deaf). I fantasized about how ‘Focus on the Lord’ would look like. I decided it would be a dark background with one round white spot somewhere on the top part of the painting. I wanted to use some structure and started putting structuring gel on the painting and scratched in it with a palet knife in no particular way. The result was terrible, it looked dark and gloomy and childish. I put it away after drying and didn’t look at it for about 4 months.
Again the echoe started bouncing and bouncing. After another try on the first canvas I came out with a painting that looked like the right arm of a Menora. A broad lane started at the bottom then bended sharply to the right and then with a curve to the left went right up to the top of the canvas. These words came up: “And I will show you a high road, I will show you the way”. So I applied some gold at the top. Great!
I decided to do the “Focus on the Lord” right away. I made the background lighter, added some red and the white spot became a big piece of golden leaflet glued to the canvas. Still not satisfied. The picture gave me a depressing feeling. A feeling that does not belong to God! I felt a bit depressed because my second try didn’t work out.
I left it for a few days and tried again and yes. With a lighter background the scratches came out more beautiful, they looked like 2 rivers joining together that were going up to the golden area on the top. The title of the painting was: Focus on the Lord but in the end it came out as going up a high road stretched out before your eyes to the goal high on the mountain, the golden glory of the Lord.
Two days later I attended our churches prayer meeting. Another church member had a word from the Lord: And I will show you a high road up the mountain… We don’t know what we’re doing, but He does!
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Exodus 31:1-7
See, I have called by name Bezaleel, ..., and I have filled him with the spirit of God, in wisdom, and in understanding, and in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship, to devise cunning works, to work in gold, and in silver, and in brass, and in cutting of stones, to set them, and in carving of timber, to work in all manner of workmanship....and in the hearts of all that are wisehearted I have put wisdom, that they may make all that I have commanded thee.